The Nourished Woman with Keri Marino

From Body Shame to Sacred Home

• Keri Marino • Episode 10

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Your body is not a project to be fixed or perfected – it's a sacred temple housing your deepest wisdom and innate healing capacities. Yet for most women, the journey to this realization is complicated by years of cultural programming that keeps us chasing impossible ideals.

Beauty, diet, and puritanical culture have sold us myths about what makes our bodies acceptable, worthy, and good. These forces teach us that love, safety, and acceptance must be earned through checking invisible boxes – having the right look, the right size, the right behaviors. What's worse, these influences didn't originate within us but were imposed from outside, often before we could even form our own relationship with our bodies.

When we add our personal histories – experiences of trauma, shame, or disconnection – we create a perfect storm of body dissatisfaction that can't be resolved through mindset work alone. Traditional approaches like talk therapy can help us understand our issues intellectually, but they often miss the critical component: your body has its own wisdom and needs that can only be accessed through embodiment.

The revolutionary path forward isn't about trying harder to love your body through affirmations or controlling it more effectively. It's about building an entirely new relationship with your physical form based on devotion, respect, and trust. Through somatic yoga therapy and embodiment practices, you can wire up neural pathways that make feeling at home in your body your default state – not something you have to constantly work to maintain.

Ready to feel deeply connected to your body's wisdom? Join me in exploring practices that honor your body as the temple it truly is. Your healing revolution begins not in your mind, but in the sacred vessel that carries you through this life.

Let's connect on Instagram @the_nourished_woman or through my website KeriMarino.com

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Nourished Woman podcast, a space for women on a growth and healing journey who want to experience more joy, play and pleasure while feeling deeply rooted within themselves. Body play and pleasure while feeling deeply rooted within themselves body, mind and spirit. I'm your host, keri Marino, somatic yoga therapist, mentor and mama of three. Let's dive in love. The way that most women feel about their bodies, depending upon where you are in your growth and healing journey and if you've really worked on your relationship to your body more purposefully, it's usually really complex and part of my work. I have been asking women for more than a decade how they feel about their bodies and to describe their relationships, and I see the whole gamut from feeling really disconnected or betrayed by their body or having a lot of pain or hating their body or feeling frustrated by their body, to feeling really in awe of their bodies and this bone, deep appreciation of all that it's giving them in their lives and this sort of comfortability and this awakening in their body and this spaciousness. So there is this like full on spectrum that's possible when it comes to how you feel about your body, and I want to acknowledge that for most of the women, at least that are in my world. It doesn't start out in that awestruck. I feel good in my body and at home realm, and so this is why we work on it. This is why we do embodiment work and somatic yoga. This is why we do yoga or somatic healing. This is why because so much of how we've been taught in terms of like cultural programming about your body has largely been influenced by beauty, diet and puritanical culture, and I'll unpack in a moment what that means. But I want you to know that these things have influenced how you feel about your body and no matter how much you try to manage what you're exposed to, these are still influences that all of us are receiving input on from beauty, diet and puritanical culture on an ongoing basis. And so what these are the beauty industry is, you know, obviously we live in a capitalist world, and so the beauty industry is trying to sell you an idea that if you do your hair right or wear the right clothes or the right makeup or the right moisturizer or whatever it is, that you will feel loved and safe and accepted. You'll check this sort of invisible box around your body being good enough and you'll be desired, and you know, doors will open and whatever it is, and that you'll feel, perhaps most importantly, we're sold the myth that we'll feel good and at home in our bodies when we check those beauty boxes.

Speaker 1:

And then diet culture is this idea, this sort of programming that our bodies need to be fit enough or a certain size, or that if we again check all these invisible diet boxes of eating the right foods and not eating the foods that are going to make us accumulate weight, for example, that we will not have cellulite and that we will not gain weight and that we will have this sort of ideal image of what a body is supposed to be and that our health will be perfect and good all of the time and that we'll feel loved and saved and accepted and that we'll feel good inside our body. If we check these sort of diet culture myths and this is so pervasive and I think so many women are somewhat aware of the beauty culture influence, but not necessarily the diet culture part. So if you're thinking that, like some foods are good or some foods are bad, or I can never have this food or never do that, some foods are good or some foods are bad, or I can never have this food or never do that. Or, like you're, you've been through Weight Watchers, for example, you've learned a lot, a lot, a lot. Or if you've ever grappled with your weight, you've learned a lot about how to control your body.

Speaker 1:

For diet culture and if you have any sort of health things going on, this can feel like a really triggering area, because we're sold this myth that if we check all these invisible boxes, that we will not have health issues and that our body will be the perfect size and that it'll not age or whatever it is. And it's just, it's one of these things. That's part of the programming. And then puritanical culture is largely about how we're taught to manage our purity, and so this is that sort of idea that we need to be pure enough in order to be worthy or good, and so if we are too loud, or if we dress a certain way, or if we've had too many sexual partners, or if we're this or that, then we're impure and we're not the variation of an ideal woman in the world. So it's all these ways that we can mold ourselves and check invisible boxes many of this rooted in different religious ideologies that we're measuring our love, safety and acceptance around, and so every single woman has programming around this that is from the past and some that you're actively receiving in the present moment, no matter how much you try to not expose yourself to it, it's just it exists. Like if you ever see an advertisement or a magazine cover or a billboard or walk into a store or hear someone talk, then you're going to be exposed to beauty, diet and purity culture here in the United States anyways.

Speaker 1:

So there's all this stuff that, before you even had the opportunity to probably think about what kind of relationship you wanted to have with your body as a child, all of this stuff was already woven into your relationship with your body. That I do with women like you or maybe you, if you're one of my clients is we work on creating a gap between that sort of cultural programming and then how you actually feel about your own body, because healed you version of you that is growing and healing and does yoga, she is writing a new story for herself about how she feels in her body and what it means to be love, safe, safe and accepted, and how to feel at home in your body, and so I want you to know that part of it is making the conscious decision to acknowledge that all of these influences are there and that's and I didn't even mention like patriarchal influences, because that's there too, but like these, are these really big things that we can have a lot of agency and responsibility over? Like, oh my gosh. Okay, let's be honest with me that these things are all influencing how I feel in my body and it's my job to manage my energy around that. Am I going to let that TV show tell me that that woman really has a better life than me or is better than me, or am I going to laugh at myself and be like you know what I get to choose. This is my body temple and I get to choose how I feel about it and I'm not going to fall prey to these things that tell me anything otherwise than what I know to be true.

Speaker 1:

And so yogic culture, particularly the lineage of yoga that I come from, things like tantric yoga, philosophy as well, and somatic approaches like take a radically different way of approaching how you see yourself from the cultural programming. And so in my lineage of yoga and tantric yoga and somatics, we don't see your body as an invisible box that you need to check in order to be loved, saved and accepted. We see your body, I see your body. You have the potential to see your body as a sacred, holy, already good enough, inherently worthy soul vehicle. Your body is literally a massive blessing. It is a temple. It is a place where intuitive wisdom lives. Your body holds literally inside of it healing codes and you have access to that uniquely as the sovereign woman that you are, and anything that is telling you that your body has to earn love, safety and acceptance is a myth, honey. Your body is already good enough and it is beautiful enough, and you can step into a relationship with your body where you learn how to be deeply present inside of it and make those choices so many times, over and over and over again, that it becomes your neural pathways in your brain, and so you become less easily swayed. And I'm not saying you'll never be influenced by outside things, because of course you'll get triggered, but you'll have more resiliency, you'll be able to witness that stuff and to come back into your body and feel more connected and at home in your body.

Speaker 1:

Now here's the reality. I started this off telling you that most of the women that I see in my practice are somewhere on that spectrum of. I feel really disconnected and perhaps ashamed of my body, or I have guilt in my body, or I'm judging my body, or I'm fearful of my body, or whatever it is all the way up to I have joy in my body and I feel at home and I feel safe and I feel spacious and I feel alive and I feel deep pleasure and all of the things and I know how to be present in my body like that. That whole spectrum as I shared. You probably didn't come to this work at that end of the spectrum that I call the nourished woman, where you feel deeply at home and at peace with your body. You're probably somewhere on the other end of that spectrum or somewhere in the middle of that spectrum and I want to eliminate any shame around that Because, as I have spent a lot of time talking to you about like that didn't even come from you, it did not start with you, it did not come from inside of you, it came from outside of you and that it's a lie and that you get to make a different choice.

Speaker 1:

You get to decide the relationship that you have with your body. You get to decide what it means to feel love, safe and accepted for yourself inside of your body. You get to decide all of those things. If you access that intuition that lives inside of your body, you get to decide all of those things. If you access that intuition that lives inside of your body, if you access those healing codes that live inside of your body, you get to decide. You are the boss and it's okay if you're in a place where you're really struggling with your body right now.

Speaker 1:

Honestly, for some of you, even just listening to this episode is already a stretch. You might have a hard time even digesting what I am saying to you right now. And if that's you, I am here to love on you through this podcast just as much as anybody else who is listening and nodding their head and being like, oh my gosh, yes, I feel so deeply what she's saying. This is a learning curve and I want to paint the vision for you of what's possible and available and I also want to give you a little bit of practical things that you can walk away from this episode with in order to help yourself start wiring up a new possibility for your body. So, outside of all of that cultural stuff beauty, diet, purity, culture also a little nod to the patriarchy.

Speaker 1:

There is also the stuff that is personal to you and these are your past experiences in your body that you've had. And these past experiences that have been tricky for you or traumatic, like big T or little t, or overwhelming or shame inducing, they make an imprint on your nervous system. Or maybe these experiences were scary and so these make an imprint on your nervous system and then your nervous system says, okay, in order to protect this individual, I need to look out for the signs of these things. And so then you've got this sort of operating system or default programming inside of your nervous system telling you that when these triggers arise, these sorts of thoughts and nervous system, communication and body sensations and all of that are going to bubble up to the surface. And these past experiences that you've had that have been tricky, past experiences that you've had that have been tricky, they represent places within you that you have the capacity to go in and love on. And so those are those wounded, tender, shadow aspects of self that perhaps need you to untangle some emotions around and to reparent and meet the needs of those past versions of you that may still be informing your current experience of your body.

Speaker 1:

So this past stuff is restricting how you feel or influencing how you feel about your body in the here and the now, and so this is where the growth and healing work comes in. Is this opportunity to go in and do the embodiment work and the yoga and the inner self work to be able to love on these places and tend to them and your nervous system so that these no longer are as big of an informant in your relationship with your body. And so it's not as simple as you just saying I'm not going to let that influence me anymore or just like doing it all mind over matter, like what's my mindset going to be? It's literally about you going in and loving on those parts and helping your body process through what did not get to process, and this is something that you're probably like. Maybe you've done a little bit or a medium sized amount or a lot of this work around. If you have, it has probably been done in a very heady way and not so much a somatic or an embodied way, so you might've done talk therapy, you might've journaled about it. Maybe you've done some self-analysis or acknowledgement and you've worked through it to a certain degree. That's probably been immensely helpful for you, or at least hopefully it has.

Speaker 1:

And also true, your body has different needs than your mind, and I like to think about doing inner work without bringing in embodiment and somatic and spirit to that is kind of like pulling a weed just by the top part and leaving the roots. So on the surface things look better, but underneath you have a root that's just going to grow a new dandelion, for example. And so this is where that inner work piece of loving on past versions of you is not just about talking through it, it is about coming into your body and it is about accessing those codes within your body and letting your body lead you intuitively through that process and it's wisdom getting to, in essence, run the show. I bring this up because I want to paint the picture for you of what's available here. You can spend years talking through things like negative body image and not see much of a change, or you can build a new relationship with your body through somatic yoga therapy, for example, and literally wire up a healthier body image without really having to focus on it.

Speaker 1:

You can go through life leaving your body when you intimate situations arise in romantic partnerships like literally your head goes somewhere else. Or and you can talk about that until you're blue in the face or you can build a relationship with your body where you learn how to be present in your body and you learn how to open yourself up to be able to receive the input of intimate connection and pleasure over time, so that you can stay in your body in those situations. You can do all the right things, like check all the beauty boxes and the diet boxes and the purity culture boxes and feed yourself the story that I'll feel good enough and whole inside my body when I do all these things and I just have to keep doing them forever more. Or you can learn how to wire up a relationship with your body that has a totally different model, and that model is one of devotion, devotion and respect and admiration and trust in your body, and then love, safety and acceptance becomes your default operating system rather than trying so damn hard. So I guess what I'm saying is that more is possible.

Speaker 1:

There's this whole spectrum of how you relate to your body, and it's possible for you to feel at home in your body and deeply connected to your body, Even if it doesn't look perfect, even if you don't like every aspect of how your body responds to something or your nervous system wires up. It is still possible to feel a reverent connection to your body and you probably will not find that in a book or in a traditional mental health environment or on the internet. You are going to find that on a yoga mat or in somatic experiences out in nature or in a breath practice or in a meditation or in some environment where you go into your body and, in terms of this embodiment work and somatic work, a lot of times people will look for somebody who does it for them on their body. So you might go see a massage therapist or an acupuncturist or a chiropractor or a craniosacral therapist or whatever it is, because you're like my body is talking to me, maybe it's screaming at me and I want to feel better in my body. So I'm going to go to this person who's going to do this work on me and help me with my body, maybe even do like reiki or energy healing and that's awesome and can make a world of difference. And the kind of stuff that I'm talking to you about here inside of the nourished woman is the kind that you do for yourself. I can be your guide, other women like me or people like me can be your guide, but ultimately you are doing the work for yourself.

Speaker 1:

If you met me when I was a teenager, I was a complete like in on the struggle bus with my body. I had massive body image issues, I had eating disorders, I had chronic pain, I had migraines. I felt like I had to check all of those invisible boxes all of the time. High level of control of like what was I eating? Was I exercising enough, you know, was I keeping myself pure enough, like all all of these things, like my energy was pouring out hardcore into all of that stuff, and I had this sort of future tripping. I kept telling myself like one day I'll feel good enough when I reach this weight. One day I'll feel confident in my body like I want to when X or Z happens and I can tell you that that never got me or any of my clients where you wanted to go the perfect outfit will help your body image in the moment, but the kind of deeper soul work and healing work that I'm talking about here is not a temporary fix.

Speaker 1:

It is a long-term revolution of the self, and so, for me, practicing yoga built a completely different relationship with my body, a relationship where I accessed my own body wisdom. A relationship where I believed in my body's ability to help itself. A relationship where I listened to my body and I moved my body in graceful, gentle ways that felt delightful. I unraveled the tension and the stress, and I'm using my story as an example of what I've seen thousands of times with my clients. This is your story too. This work that we're doing here is not superficial, and it holds inside of it immense potential to open you and literally do that revolution of the self work that I'm talking about.

Speaker 1:

If this podcast episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear about it. Send me a message on Instagram, at the Nourished Woman, or through my website, kerrymarinocom, and if you're looking for a space for deeper support, mentorship or simply a space to feel held, I'd love to have you join us inside the Nourished Woman Sanctuary. The beautiful music you're hearing is from Shawn Johnson and the Wild Lotus Band, and you can find them on all streaming platforms. I just know I can't survive without mystery.