How to Get What You Really Want (hint: get out of your way love)

Standing on the threshold of wanting change, can feel both exciting and terrifying at the same time. Because it brings you up against the edge of your own patterns, triggers the emotions that can make you spiral and lead to some serious overthinking.

In this episode, we'll explore a gentler way to get what you really want by learning how to expand yourSelf from within —so your growth stops feeling like a slippery slope and more like a return to yourself.

We talk through what to do when you're lost in your head and how to find your way back to the present moment, and your power. 

Keri shares a personal story about pushing an “invisible boulder” uphill— and what happened when she woke up and saw things differently. 

If you’re craving ease in relationships, money, health, or joy, this conversation will help you own that and make it easier for you to call it in and trust the process. 

If you like this episode, send Keri a message on Instagram at @the_nourished_woman and tell her what it shifted. 

If you are craving a way to live less in your head and more from your clarity, join The Nourished Woman Sanctuary by this Friday for access to a workshop, "How to Process Emotion through Your Body."  

Great for anyone who has done yoga and inner work, but still feels stuck in between the women she was and the women she's becoming.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome and Intention
• 0:42 The Precipice of Change
• 2:45 Escaping the Thought Spiral
• 3:58 The Code: Choose Differently
• 5:16 Practicing Neutrality and Presence
• 6:52 The Invisible Boulder Story
• 8:18 Let It Be Easy: Mantras and Trust
• 10:00 Invitations, Support, and Closing

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:13

Welcome to the Nourished Woman Podcast, a space for women on a growth and healing journey who want to experience more joy, play, and pleasure while feeling deeply rooted within themselves, body, mind, and spirit. I'm your host, Carrie Marino, somatic yoga therapist, mentor, and mama of three. Let's dive in, love. If you've ever felt like you were on the precipice of some change, you can see the patterns, you're aware of the different ways that you're thinking. Maybe you have an emotional awareness about what those thoughts are leading to you feeling. Maybe you know the desires that you hold in your heart, those ways that you want your life to be easier, or your relationships to be more fulfilling, or there to be more money in your bank account, or the partner that you've been waiting on forever to come into your life, or your health to improve, or you to feel more relaxed and playful and joyful, whatever it is, like that precipice of knowing enough about yourself to see some of your own shit, and then having clarity around what you want for yourself. And maybe, maybe you're even afraid about what you want for yourself. Maybe that feels tricky to even acknowledge. Like as you're sitting here listening to this, you might be like, oh my gosh, like, ah, she's talking about that thing that I know inside that I want, but I feel scared that I even want it, right? Or maybe you're like, I want it so bad, I want it yesterday, and I want to scream it like Ron Burgundy talking about how much he loved Veronica Corningstone, so that everybody knows how much I want it, and anybody that can help me will come out of the woodworks and help me. If you are on that threshold, that fertile void, that precipice of knowing and wanting, I am talking to you today, love. And I want to highlight one way that you might be able to make more progress today. And it's gonna sound really simple because it truthfully kind of is. It's so easy for you, for me, for us to get tangled up in our thoughts and to make meaning out of things out of everything, right? Like this thing happens and we take that to be a sign that we're still stuck in this way, or that this problem that we have is still just as big of a problem as we always thought it was, or that we're not doing enough and we need to do more, or that our worst fears are actually gonna come true, or that this thing that we want feels like it's just too far out of reach, and other people can have it, but you can't have it because there's something wrong with you, or like the mind spiral, right? Like you can just spiral so easily and get entangled in all of your thoughts and all of the meaning that you make about those thoughts, and then all of the stories, and then all of the emotions, and then on and on and on. And one of the ways that all the women out there who are actually working actively to expand themselves and grow and evolve from a more spiritual place, I'm gonna give you a little bit of their code so that you know how to do this for yourself. And a big part of the code is to stop overindulging in thinking so much about everything. So when you have a thought, you can observe the thought. That's a possibility, and you can decide what you do with the thought. I want you to particularly think about thoughts that don't make you feel good. So, do I indulge myself on that thought? Or do I acknowledge that I'm having that thought and it makes me feel bad? And then it fuels this part of me that believes this will never change and I'll never be unstuck and I'll never get what I want, and all the cards are stacked against me and it's just too hard. Are you, like, let's be really honest with yourself. Are you thinking all those things? Are you indulging those thoughts? And if you are, that's okay. There's nothing wrong with you. It's called being human. And it's also true that the women that you're looking at that are further down the path than you, they didn't get there by spending all their energy thinking those thoughts. They got there by choosing differently for themselves. And this is the practice of discernment. There's me thinking that thought again. I got triggered, I'm thinking that thought. I'm making, as my dad would say growing up, a mountain out of a molehill. Okay. Let me have a laugh at myself. Let me choose again. And then choosing again is not necessarily about choosing a positive thought. It's not saying, like, well, I had this negative thought, so now let me pick a positive thought to sort of balance the scale. It's more about you coming to your own space of neutrality within. And that's you being in the present moment with yourself. So if your thoughts are taking you down a spiral, you're going to, in practice, it might look like this, you might acknowledge that those thoughts are there and then decide to come into the present moment with yourself, because in the present moment there are infinite possibilities. And if your nervous system can adapt from fight or flight or fawn or freeze and into the window of tolerance, which I'm here to teach you about, then you're going to have access to your creativity and you're going to have access to your inner knowing and your intuition, and you're going to have access to spirit or God or source or the divine or whatever you want to call it that's all going to be leading you and guiding you in real time. And you following along with this programming that so many of us have been taught that we have to force and push and work hard really does make it harder. I was in a coaching call the other day in a program that I'm in. And I have this area of my life that's tricky for me. And so many other areas of my life that are just so easy and things that I'm gifted in, like what I'm doing right now with you. This is one of those areas that I'm just, for whatever reason, like this is easy for me. I'm gifted at this. But I have other areas where it's more challenging. And so I was talking to my coach about how I feel like I've been pushing a boulder up a hill for a really long time. And then recently I've crossed this new threshold in my growth and healing around this topic. And now I realize that this boulder that I've been pushing has been invisible the whole damn time. So I have been pushing an invisible boulder up a hill that I created by overindulging in my thoughts and the story and my fears and my worries. And this coach, she's been telling me for about a year to do this work of neutrality. And I've been doing it and I've been coming into this realignment and this discernment. And it takes time. And so I don't want you to come away from this podcast and think like I learned this great tool and I get to do it once and be done. No, this is something that we keep deepening our awareness around. We keep deepening our practice around. We keep choosing again over and over in real time. And one of the phrases that I like to use is to ask myself the question what if this wasn't a problem for me? So whatever this thing is that's coming up in your life that's triggering you and sending you down the old familiar spiral, what if this wasn't actually a problem for you? And another one is this gets to be easy for me. And you might think about this as calling in the divine or source or spirit or infinite consciousness or God or goddess or whatever you want to call it. Like I am held and fully supported by spirit and source, and this gets to be easy for me. And I don't have to control it all, and I don't have to know everything, and I don't have to know the timeline, and I don't have to see all the details, and I don't have to put every piece of the puzzle in the put into place because this gets to be easy for me, because this isn't actually a problem, because I know in my innermost self that I am being called into this new threshold of growth and evolution and expansion. And so that means that that is for me. It is already for you. If you're having this desire and this call and this inner knowing, then you can trust that. And you sure as hell can get out of the fucking way sooner by not overthinking it. Stop over intellectualizing, stop trying to understand, stop making so much meaning about it. Come into the present moment with yourself. Don't make it a problem, choose again and decide that it gets to be easy. Play with this and let me know what it stirs from you. I really do love hearing about your experiences. Send me a message on Instagram at the Nourished Woman or through my website, carry marino.com. And if you're looking for a space for deeper support, mentorship, or simply a space to feel held, I'd love to have you join us inside the Nourished Woman Sanctuary. The beautiful music you're hearing is from Sean Johnson and the Wild Lotus Band, and you can find them on all streaming platforms.